i have no friends actually now i fell bad ... anybody spare money for the bus ahhhhhhh kill me now

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Whats worst than getting bombed by the russians? The holocaust!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did Little Suzy get hit by a truck? Well the real question is, "Why was Little Suzy in the road," so why was she? Because she felt like it.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

ROSE ARE BROWN VIOLETS ARE BROWN WHO SH*IT IN MY GARDEN!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what did the man do when he fell off the top of a building? Nothing He DIED!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a Koala bear that does not have a chin? A Koala bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What sound did the Moon Man say to the Moon Woman? Nothing, there isn't an atmosphere so sound cannot travel.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A black guy, Jewish guy, Chinese guy and a normal guy walk into a bar. They were all normal but the race of the last guy could not be easily determined.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: What did the Lone Ranger say when he saw his horse coming? A: Here comes my horse.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: Have you ever seen Ray Charles wife? A: Nethier has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the Chinese man fall down the stairs? He was shot in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why is caleb mears sucha perv? becasuee its calebbbb ahahahahahahah

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what looks like a sock and goes on peoples feet? A sock

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you know when you are really ugly? Objective self-evaluation, and frank, honest discussion with close friends and family.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock Knock Who's there? A kind hearted serial killer who will win your heart emotionally and then shoot you to death unexpectedly.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock Knock. Who's there? Jeffery Dahmer. Oh, good, you're finally here!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What has hands but can't clap? - A Quadraplegic

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the man launch his rocket into the sun? He didn't. Overcoming the sun's orbital pull would require your rocket to travel ~7,400,000 mph, which is a velocity that is impossible for today's rockets to reach.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you get a one-armed man out of a tree? you wave.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

poop

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Sometimes I finger myself to some Madonna and Mary J. Blige shit. - Jesse

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do lawyers and sharks have in common? They both play vital roles in their own society or ecosystem.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops