what do a pizza and a jew have in common? they both burn in an oven

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I'm not racist. Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass...i lied about the wheels

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Know knock Who's there The fat lady off her medicine ball Call 000

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What do you get when two chickens cross a road? -Salmonella stricken hobos

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What was the baker a coward? He didn't have the "Bunz" to prove it!

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There were two blondes going to California for the summer, they are about two hours into the flight and the pilot gets on the intercom and says we just lost an engine but it is all right we have three more but it will take us an hour longer. A half hour later he gets on the intercom again and says we just lost another engine but its all right we have two more it will take us another half hour though. One of the blondes says "If we lose the two last engines we will be up here all day"

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Q. What do you call a Widow's Husband? A. Dead...

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What's the best anti-pest control of all time???? The Holocaust.

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Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out flaming ducks

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Knock Knock Who's There Me

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whats black and blue and white all over A little caucasian boy who is being abused by his parents

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You can teach a man to fish but you cant teach a fish to man

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A Black and a Mexican are in the back of a car, they are carpooling to save money on gas.

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead penguin

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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What would you do if Spider Man gave you super powers like his? Nothing. Spider Man is not real therefore you are most likely dreaming and need to wake up soon.

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A black guy walks into a kkk meeting.

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Why is Abraham Lincoln a bad driver? Because he is dead.

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yo momma is so stupid she went and got her self checked for mental retardedness and it turns out she happens to be autistic.

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Why did sara fall out of the tree? -she had no arms.. Knock knock. -who's there? not sara.

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What is worse than a badly told joke? A badly told Anti-joke.

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So a man is in a car smoking weed when he forgets to crack a window so he over doses and dies. The car crashes and he kills 3 other people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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