There's two muffins in an oven, the first muffin says "Woah, it's really hot in here!". The second muffin says "Oh my God! A talking muffin!"

What did the homeless black guy write on his sign? need money for weed.

What's worse than hitting your thumb with a hammer? Getting your spine ripped off

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm colorblind.

don't read this

How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb? It would probably be the court janitor who was responsible for that job, rather than the lawyers.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Macy's was having a giant sale.

How do you get rich? Cut chunks off a fat person with a cleaver and sell them to china.

Roses are brown Violets are brown who the hell took a shit in my garden?

There was an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman. Now there's millions of them. And women too.

Q: What do you call a black woman who can't tell you who her baby daddy is? A: "Mam". Rape is a serious and painful crime, and the strength to raise a child on her own without her consent is worthy of respect.

Anti pick up line: Boy: If I could re arrange the letters I would put U and I together. Girl: Oh really because if I could rearrange the letters I would put F and U together By Adam Chebali

Okay, but lets write a contract, if you regret your decision at anytime, you get it all back, minus what I have spent of course, both I and my wife have always wanted to live in a house by the sea, hopefully you nearby. You know, I have never been truly happy because I thought I could change this world, now I know that I tried and failed, maybe I can change myself instead, they say that true change comes from within.

Julian Ha.

XD Jackass.

I have read and agree to the terms of midget sex service - View Terms of Service

What do you call a man who beats his adopted, black children? A terrible person.

How did the drug addict die? He got shot in a drive-by.

What do you call a joke with no punchline?

Sometimes you have to stop and smell the roses. Unless they are next to the trashcan where you put your little sisters diapers

Why Americans are so bad at League of Legends? Because they can't defend their towers.

Roses are red violets are blue I have alziemers banana cookie!

that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have altzeimer's, Cheese on toast

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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