A man walks into a bar, looks to the right and sees a man one foot tall playing the piano, he sits at the bar and says to the bar tender,"I'm feeling kind of down" the bar tender gives him a bottle of very strong alcohol and later that night he goes home and hangs himself.

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One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

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A guy walks into a bar, and says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What do you call a college student who never studies? An irresponsible person

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Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

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Why did the black man kill himself? Because he had a very serious case of depression brought on by his recent divorce

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Why don't Vikings read the New York Times? Because they all died centuries ago. And none of them live in New York.

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Why can't Albert Einstein hold down a job? Because he's dead.

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What did one cat say to the other cat? Meow. What did one dog say to the other dog? Meow. Why was the man sad? He had a retarded dog.

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What do grass and cows have in common? They both say "moo" except for grass

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What has 156 bras and 927 pairs of underwear? Someone without a washing machine.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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What do you get when you cross a lion and a tiger? A Ligor.

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Paul walker: Breaks, stop Breaks: no

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Three old ladies were sitting on a bench. A man walks up and flashes them. The first old lady had a stroke. The second old lady had a stroke. The third old lady called 911 out of concern for her two friends.

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I would have buttered my bread, but the pool was cold.

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how do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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knock knock Who's there? Someone who wants to save you from the shitty dinner your lazy wife made.

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Yo momma's so ugly. Most people do not enjoy looking at her

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You're as useful as Baby P's dummy.

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My peni s

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Q: What did the air freshener say to the car??? A: Nothing. Air fresheners are inanimate objects

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An artist walks into a bar and orders a rum and ckoe. The bartender reads the first sentence and realizes the artist is dyslexic and fixes him a rum and coke.

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Roses are red , violets are blue, you like 1d? STFU

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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