What's black and white and red all over? Nothing, it is impossible for something to be red all over if there is black and white also.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How did Hitler fit 100 Jews in his car? Ashes don't take up much space.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did God tell Moses to deliver to the Hebrews? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Hey I Just Met You , And This is Crazy But Don't Text. My Phone Cuz You Stalk Me Daily #Taste_MyCarmel

thumb_up thumb_down -17

a read head, a brunet, and a blonde sneak into a merchant ship. security hears some noises and goes on to investigate. all three girls jump into banana sacks. security guard kicks the first sack with the read head in it and she growls like a dog, so the security sees its a dog and keeps on walking. he then kicks the sack with the brunet in it, she goes on to hiss like a cat. so then the security guard kicks the last sack with the blonde in it, and she yells out "bananas!"...the end

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the army guy say when he lost his gun. Wheres my gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Your momma is so old, it is likely that she will pass away in the near future, and I would recommend you to spend some quality time with her.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's the difference between a Lawyer and a hooker? Job description, income, and an incredibly large list of other things.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the black man quit his job as a rapper? Because he was an admirable father and husband and was willing to sacrifice his passion to provide for those he loved.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What is the difference between a rabbit and a stick? One lives and one not.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Knock, Knock! Who's there? Hatch! Hatchoo! Bless you!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

If your falling up a ladder and your canoe runs out of gas, how many pancakes does it take to cover a dog houes? A. George Washington B. India C. Blue Answer: False

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A Jew walks into Macy's

thumb_up thumb_down -17

My mates dad hasnt had a job in 20 years... its probably why there all homless outside my house.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's the difference between a soldier and a black man? A black man lives a normal life, probably working a full time job to bring income to his family. A soldier has seen his friends killed right before his very eyes, has probably killed, and most likely has night terrors accompanied by the sounds of gunshots and grenades. He will suffer trauma up until he dies of a heart attack in his mid 80's after experiencing a terrifying flashback of life in the war.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man walks into a bar. On impact, he suffers quite the blow to his head, resulting in him falling unconscious. He is escorted to the hospital, where he is pronounced in a coma on arrival. His family is left devastated. His wife, who was a stay-at-home mother to their 2 children doesn't take this news very well and is sent into a spiraling depression. 16 years later, the man finally wakes from his coma to find that his son and daughter that he had left behind where now grown teenagers and almost done with high school, his wife's has remarried and given birth to his half-child. This is why you don't text while walking down a sidewalk.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

what taste like an apple, looks like an apple, but isnt an apple? an apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How many Jews does it take to bake a turkey using an oven, I don't know but it only takes one Jew to stuff one.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a speeding moped.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How do you drown a blond? You hold her underwater.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did Lucy drop her ice-cream ? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who is there ? NOT LUCY !

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the black man lose his leg? Because he was kidnapped and tortured.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was the multi-millionaire entreprenuer sad? He went bankrupt.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops