How do you make a baby stop crying? Drown it in vinegar.

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How did the corpse cross the road? They can't cross the road they're dead.

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What happens when you mix bath salts, marijiuana, and crack cocaine and proceed to inject it into your body in some manner? You have one of the biggest trips of your life in which it will ware off and you will proceed with your life

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Don't hate the cosplayer hate the... Actually, I lied, hate the cosplayer.

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if your having girl problems i feel bad for you son, i don't have any.

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A duck walks into a grocery store. He looks at the shopkeeper, who then grabs a broom and shoos him back outdoors.

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why did the snow man die? Actually it is impossible because it was an inanimate object.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Why is Jordan Abu Arabian ? Because his mom is!

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What drops its lunch every day? Yo mom

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a whiskey sour and a mop.

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A black man walks into a store. As he leaves, the detector goes off. It turns out the sales clerk had forgotten to take out one of the tags on his purchase. The sales clerk promptly took it off, and the man left to enjoy the rest of his day.

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What goes up a hill with 4 legs and comes down with 3? A horse, which, upon reaching the top of the hill, has one of its legs chopped off, which is when the horse proceeds down the hill.

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Children + my basement + my finger = yes

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What do you get if you put a baby in a blender? An Erection

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, he was hit by a car. I lied about him crossing the road.

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Is it a bird, Is it a plane, I don't know what it is but it's heading straight for the World Trade Centre

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If you can cut half a rope. You can cut the whole rope.

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Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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roses are blue viloets are red this poem doesnt make sense microwave

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being brutally murdered as you are watching your guts spilling out of your body

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What's the difference between Obama and a monkey? They are two different species, so thus they are very different.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops