what electronic vegetable sits in a chair? stephen hawking

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why is it okay to have four cats? Because I said so.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

You: "Ask me if im an astronaut. " Them: "R u an astronaut?" You: "No. "

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

if your having trouble coming through the back door, try a Butterfinger

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a German who roasts Jews for a living? A comedian.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the differece between a rock and a black guy? A rock can't eat fried chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the little boy say to his malignant tumour? "Hello" The tumour did not respond.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: Where do zombies shop? A: Zombercrombie.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Mom says my name I reply Coming.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a naked couple? Horny.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Your mother is so fat because she inherited poor genes and dietary habits from her own parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats wrong with me? Your alive.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you make a hobo cry? You steal his trash.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

tea with milk?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why couldn't Jimmy wash his hair? He has leukemia and therefore no longer has hair.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the girl have an abortion? Because she wanted a burger.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Who won in a game of Brawl... Holden

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the horse say to the man? The man woke up from his dream so he didn't know either

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is similar between a dog and a cat? They are both dogs except for the cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This site.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why is my penis 2 inch hard? Because I rape little boys with it and there tight little asshole are crushing it

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops