Why couldn't the little seven year old girl paint her finger nails? She fell in front of a train.

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How do you silence Justin Bieber? Hold his head under water until he stops struggling.

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What happened to the guy who bought a nice, brand new, plasma screen t.v.? He hanged himself.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The police catch them, and they are sentenced to jail.

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Q: Wgat do you call a black man's dead bodie? A: A corpse.

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What happens when you go from a jew to a penguin? A huge climate change.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poems, Show me your tits.

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends what its name is.

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What do you can a stinky mexican? Whatevet his name may be. Possibly Jose

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"Whats that boy? Timmy fell down the well??" Bout time

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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A: u wanna die? B: does anyone really wanna die, i mean logistically, un-less u are suicidal, why would you wanna die? A: I do wanna die. B: ur a freak and you should consider getting help person A never got help, on his way to getting help at a certified physician he got hit by a bus, his body can be found at the intersection of church ave. and flatbush. And i would say rest in piece but cars drive over him daily, and thats not to peaceful

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Why was the 13 year old drug addict crying? Because somebody shot him in the foot

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What's red, white and blue? You're mother on her period after she had sex. I don't know where the blue came from.

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Why was the pig squealing? Because all four of its legs were tied together and it was about to have it's head chopped off so the meat could be processed for people to enjoy.

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Why would Obama like to be ahead of some guy's poll and bent over at the same time? Because being ahead in someone's poll is encouraging news for his election campaign and bending over is part of the exercise program he uses to stay in shape.

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why did the shark bite the surf board? It thought it was turtle.

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What did Tom get for his 5th Birthday ? Nothing, he died when he was 2 years old

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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What did the cover say when it fell off the bed? Oh sheet!

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What is more disappointed the Lake Disappointment? You

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There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

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Yo mama so fat because it's in her genes.

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two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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