A: u wanna die? B: does anyone really wanna die, i mean logistically, un-less u are suicidal, why would you wanna die? A: I do wanna die. B: ur a freak and you should consider getting help person A never got help, on his way to getting help at a certified physician he got hit by a bus, his body can be found at the intersection of church ave. and flatbush. And i would say rest in piece but cars drive over him daily, and thats not to peaceful

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

why did the shark bite the surf board? It thought it was turtle.

What's red, white and blue? You're mother on her period after she had sex. I don't know where the blue came from.

two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

Yo mama so fat because it's in her genes.

Roses are red, Violets are red, Grass is red, HOLY SHIT THE GARDEN'S ON FIRE

What do you call a homosexual in a wheelchair? A cripple

whaT DID HEVEN SAY TO THE FRIDGE hAVE YOU GOT A COLD

So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

Who is a pussy? Jeff Misner

How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor an the doctor said, "I am calling Child Protection Services."

What did the taxi driver say when the black man got in to his taxi? Where to sir?

What is more disappointed the Lake Disappointment? You

Knock knock. Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mop who? (I eat ma poo) Haha. ~Ali M.~

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

What did the cover say when it fell off the bed? Oh sheet!

Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, Retinal Hemorrhage.

There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

Why was the white man's girlfriend a whore? Because she engaged in sexual relations with a multitude of other men.

Please don't shoot me

Why did the plane crash? Because, it's pilot was a bagel.

why did the chicken cross the road he didnt he was hit by a van

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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