Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

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There once was this guy and he fell down

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Whats big, red and will cause severe injuries possibly fatalities if it falls out a tree? A phone box

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W. If I was one thing other then a person why would I be? M. The sun. W. Aww, so I brighten your day? M. No, you're just hard to look at.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Lemons are yellow

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and i am too

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Yo mama so fat, that she's even bigger than the universe!

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What did one duck say to the other duck? Quack.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Almost everything.

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If you die laughting, How are you telling this to me?

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A man walks into a bar. His crippling alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

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How do you eat an Elephant? Elephant meat is most palatable after roasting in a 450 degree oven for 2 hours. Garnish with carrots and broccoli.

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How do you tell when your dog is dead? I don't know. I never had a dog and my parents beat me.

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What's funnier than 24? Nothing, 24 is just a number. There's is nothing humorous about it. Go away.

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Arrow in the Knee!

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad? A: Kill his family

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Nero, I mean it, I want you and your wife to have 15 million dollars, it wont buy you the happiness you seek, but it helps no?

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Not lying Red, I have my contacts, I am a "facilitator", I pull strings for my employers, and sure the FBI has me on their files, after all we have cooperated with them. Not because I wanted to, but because its my job, and it helps me use the best of my abilities and limited education (I am technically an educated lawyer, and not an agent).

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When did the ball-room finally close? Closing time.

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FAMOUS DUDE:SWAG! Thank you, thank yo- HEY NO FLASH PHOTOGRAPHY, NO YOU CANT HAVE MY-KABOOM AUDIENCE: . . . YAY CLAP CLAP CLAP.

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Why did the small 12 year old run away which a chicken. He felt like it and he was carrying bread which the chicken was allergic to.

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Yo momma so fat she saw a yellow bus full of white kids and said, "STOP THAT TWINKIE!!"

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What did the man say ti the other man? Hi

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Q: What does the fox say? A: Nothing. Foxes cannot talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops