What's the difference between a fat person and a whale? The quality of the fat. -Japan

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Do u know where the glue is? nope, i just glued my hand to this table, so im no help to u

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red Violets are blue Your grandpa's dead So are you.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Read in a Jersey accent: SOOOOOO my friend __________ saw this coffee shop in new jersey! He was like.... i love coffee why dont they give it to me for free???? The man at the coffee shop Killed me! that is why coffee is not free!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did one prostitute say to the other prostitute? I'm dying of AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

hi

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what does the monster eat after going to the dentist? the dentist

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks into a library looking for books on poor punchlines. The Librarian directs him to the appropriate section.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you get an annoying baby to shut up? Hit it with a bat

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How to condom style ! Ayyyyyyy thts ur baby ! No! No! No! No! No! No! Broken condom style ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How can you tell if your blind date is going to be good looking? Go on the date and see if they're good looking.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the patient die of aids disorder? Butt sex. Lots and lots of butt sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I walk the path less taken. Moral: Everything in life is a moral, as far as I care immorality does not exist, everything goes, I AM MORAL MAN!! He`s the MORAL MAN IIS HEE A MORAAL OR IS HEE... (you know Ozzy) AND NOW THAT YOU ARE DOMINATED you can go back to your fun, or reply, again, but you see, at this point I am already elswhere, so if you reply, you lose your control of your nasal coughanalcough nerve endings, and the potency of course.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Oh please! Come on! Those that got to us where mostly Russians remember? And what where my parents? (if you do not know you might have guessed it by now) I found a guy that looked about the same as me, messed him up and put my jacket on him, I do not die that easily. Anyway, id explain more, but I have been without these fucking painkillers so long that I am talking trash on this stupid site again... Seriously the pain I am used to, but this addiction on painkillers is a bitch... (shedog if censor got a hold on it) But it turns out I cant sleep without them, sleep just does not come anymore, so Ill go get some now. Who are you by the way? I am Nero7, Aka Axel Knight.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What comes after 7? Pedophiles.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats black and yellow a chinese with a bruise

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did chad do when he found the grape? He ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

there was a turkey sandwhich..... a ham sandwhich.... and a bologna sandwhich..... they had a short conversation before they were eatin by a fat kid

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what do you call an evening with richard? a waste of time

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your Mama is so old, that she is probrably going to die pretty soon.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: Why is it when geese fly in a V that one side is longer than the other? A: There are more geese on that side.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I'm on the Seafood Diet. I eat seafood to replace fatty red meats, in conjunction with fruit and vegetables.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. On of them was moderately amusing and took home the modest prize.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops