Brother : you see this hand Sister : yes Brother : if you dont leave ill slap you with it Sister : no you wont !SLAP!!!!

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You pour cold water on her head or make a loud noise nearby.

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Whats Big, Brown, and smells like Horse Crap? Horse Crap

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why didnt the black guy die on the bus fire? The fire was in the front of the bus!

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How many babies does it take to change a light bulb? None. Babies shouldn't be changing light bulbs.

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What's worse than a tree getting cut down? This joke.

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There were three elephants in a bathtub. One said, "Pass me the soap." The other one said, "What do you think I am? A Radio???"

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How to stop a baby from crying? Hit it with a brick

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Q. What do you call a person with no arms, legs, torso, or head? A. A mutilated corpse.

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knock knock whos there make up make up who hahahaha you said make a poo

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When life gives you carrots, don't make carrot juice, because it's gross.

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

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What is big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree A pool table

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How to pick up chicks Pick up a chicken but must be a baby

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I told him to. I'm very influential.

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Knock knock Who's there? Your mom Oh hi mom

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Why Did The Black Man Cry? KFC Went Bankrupt!

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An Aussie, a Mexican and an Asian walk into a bra. You read that wrong.

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What do you call a black man on a bike? A hard-working individual who found a steady job and earned enough money to buy a bicycle of his own which he rides to and from his job because he is healthy, doesn't like to waste money on gas, and doesn't like the pollution automobiles put into the air. By Darragh Hamilton

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What's the name of Hellen keller's dog? She doesn't have a dog, she's blind and deaf and would not be able to give it the adequate amount of care. Additionally, it's morally reprehensible to make fun of Helen Keller.

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WHY DO IDIOTS RIGHT STUPID JOKES BECAUSE THEY HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO WITH THERE LIVES.

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Not from my wife if that is what you think, but its best people dont know who she is, because you know... A guy that gets many ladies = A playa. A girl that lets his guy do that, well, my wife feels safe about her husband (I am dead honest), but I cant expect people to suddenly go "oh yeah, his wife is totally cool and secure about it all, rather than an insecure idiot that allows him to sleep around like the dog he is) Strictly spoken, I am no dog, women say all men are pigs, but no woman settles for a boy, so that makes me a pig.

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4/20 is a holiday just like Christmas.. I lied you just get baked

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Why did the jew cross the road Because he was being cornered by 10 nazis that had automatic guns

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops