Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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what did the man do when he fell off the top of a building? Nothing He DIED!!!!!!

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i have no friends actually now i fell bad ... anybody spare money for the bus ahhhhhhh kill me now

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Q:What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A: A bike

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Friends are just like trees. They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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poop

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Why did the Chinese man fall down the stairs? He was shot in the face.

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what looks like a sock and goes on peoples feet? A sock

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Knock, knock Who's there? It's me Me who? Just open your damn door funny guy it's freezing out here I don't get it

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Why did the man launch his rocket into the sun? He didn't. Overcoming the sun's orbital pull would require your rocket to travel ~7,400,000 mph, which is a velocity that is impossible for today's rockets to reach.

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What's brown and white all over? Chad butthole

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if you're jesus and you know it, clap your hands

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How do you know when you are really ugly? Objective self-evaluation, and frank, honest discussion with close friends and family.

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Why did the Asian ace the test? Because she had worked very diligently, taken copious notses, and studied fervently until she had a thorough mastery of the topic.

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Q: Have you ever seen Ray Charles wife? A: Nethier has he.

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Do not lose hope, you have always considered me hard to get, while this time, I came to you. Next time too, I kinda owe you.

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What has hands but can't clap? - A Quadraplegic

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Q: What did the Lone Ranger say when he saw his horse coming? A: Here comes my horse.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Jeffery Dahmer. Oh, good, you're finally here!

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How do you get a one-armed man out of a tree? you wave.

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What do lawyers and sharks have in common? They both play vital roles in their own society or ecosystem.

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why is caleb mears sucha perv? becasuee its calebbbb ahahahahahahah

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Knock Knock Who's there? A kind hearted serial killer who will win your heart emotionally and then shoot you to death unexpectedly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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