When an anvil and a feather are dropped off a building the anvil will hit the ground first because it's heavy

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A Hispanic was walking down the street, he turned left and was at his house.

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A man walks into a bar he orders a drink

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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How did the chicken get to the other side? He crossed the road.

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Yesterday, upon the stair, I met a man who wasn't there. I saw him there again today; I've been sectioned. [L]

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Where do you find a dead hooker? where you left her.

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Yo mama so ugly she's ridiculed daily and has frequent suicidal thoughts.

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What did the mother say to her son? I have Leukemia.

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Selena Gomez, Victoria Justice, and Arianna Grande walk into a bar. They were making a movie.

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What mouse walks on two legs? Mickey Mouse. What bear walks on two legs? Winnie the Pooh. What duck walks on two legs? All of them, dumbass.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar and have a friendly argument over their religious beliefs.

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What do you call two spaniards talking in French. Bilingual.

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Why was the man struck by lightning? Josh Mathai was there.

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Why did the door close on little Timmy? He was getting gang raped.

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How to trick hundreds or religious people to drink cyanide? You establish a religious community in which you establish a ritual of drinking Kool-Aid once a day and one day switch the Kool-Aid with cyanide.

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Pokemon are fictional, therefore Pikachu is fictional, meaning he would never be at a bus station in the real world at all.

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Why is Michael Jackson bad at checkers? Cause he's dead.

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I FEEL LIKE I'M RIDING ON A CLOUD actually it's physically impossible to ride on clouds because they are sparsely situated ice particles.

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Why can't jokes spit?

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why did the girl slap joe? he had a boner.

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Why was the girl sad? Because she was, you idiot!

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Whats the same between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple except for the elephant

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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