Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is an animal without a high enough level of intelligence to see the dangers in doing so.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? depends on how hard you throw them

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What do you call Ed Milliband after he's been decapitated? Dead Milliband.

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What is an Indian's favourite country? North Currya

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your mother. Oh, hi Mom! Come in!

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Q: Why didn't the blonde answer the call from her boyfriend? A: She had died in a rollover the day before.

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What sound does a baby in a blender make? I don't know, I was too busy masturbating.

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What is a holocaust victim's favorite food? Nothing.

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What did the black man say before he went to sleep? im going to sleep

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how did the fat man get up the stairs he walked

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it was hit by a car

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Knock knock. Who's there? Tim. Tim who? Tim Smith.

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What's worse than getting raped by a bear? Getting raped by two bears.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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What's funnier than the holocaust? Just about everything seeing how the holocaust is not a funny event, but rather enormous tragedy.... Assholes.

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What's the difference between a lamp?

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Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill all his friends and family.

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how do you make jimmy happy you cant he's in a coma

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When Chuck Norris realized that there was a more superior being than himself. What did he say? Suck it Safka

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What did Helen Keller say to her friend? Nothing. If you didn't know, she was deaf and blind so she had to use Sign Language.

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A man tells the bartender," A bar walks into a man..." The bartender says," What the hell? I think you've had enough"

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A horse walks into a bar and begins to moo. Everyone is confused until it takes off its costume and reveals it's just a cow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops