Knock knock? Whose There? Not Suzie, She can't knock

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What did the snowman put on his head? Nothing; snowmen are inanimate.

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"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't give you time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

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Richard Nixon walks into a bar. Everyone is thrilled to meet a former President of the United States who returned from the grave.

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Why do Mexican's wear pointy shoes? Because its part of their culture and is used as a sign of dignity when dancing to tribal music

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Hey babe, do you like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people? Because I like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people.

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What do you call a child sitting alone in the back of a bus? Anti-social and on the verge of depression.

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What's the difference between car keys and truck keys? Literally nothing.

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A black man walks in to a 7 Eleven with a gun in his left pocket. He innocently walks over to the place where they keep all the hostess treats, and decides to purchase a pack of crumb donuts. The gun was purely for self defense, it was a bad neighborhood.

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What do you get when two chickens cross a road? -Salmonella stricken hobos

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How can you treble the value of any Skoda car? Ensure its paintwork, upholstary, floor, lights, wipers, steering wheel, brake, horn, CD player, radio and clutch are clean and/or sound; fill its petrol tank, oil, brake and winscreen wiper fluid reserves; fit a roof rack; include a red triangle, a fire extinguisher, a blanket and a first aid kit in the sale; take out comprehensive insurance and pay a year's road tax and MOT before selling it.

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Did you know that Hellen Keller had a roller coaster in her backyard? Neither did she

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Q: What do you call half of the worlds population of black people on the moon. A: Close enough.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A kind hearted serial killer who will win your heart emotionally and then shoot you to death unexpectedly.

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You've got more chins than a Chinese... Girl with a lot of chins, because she's so fat

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Q. What do you do when you cross an elephant, and a soccer ball. A. That would never happen.

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Michael Vick walks into a pet shop. He buys a puppy and cares for it lovingly

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Why did little Katie fall off her bike? Because the postman killed the bee hive.

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What's the difference between katchup and musterd A very long list of things that I don't want to read

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Why did the dog cross the road? Because he saw another dog

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Whats the same about a jew and firewood? They both burn.

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I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

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What was the only thing the little boy from tanzania had? AIDS.

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A man walks into a bar hes later assassinated and mourned by his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops