Why aren't fish good at telling jokes? Their neural structure isn't capable of processing languages or creating a method of communicating with humans, thus they both do not know any jokes since they are incapable of understanding the concept of humour.

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Q: Why should you never let Jerry Sandusky babysit your children? A: Because, in November of 2011, Sandusky was arrested and charged with 40 counts of sexual abuse of young boys over a 15-year period. A man with this type of background does not seem like a an ideal choice for a babysitter.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was strapped to the first monkey.

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Knock, Knock... Whose there? panther panther who? panth-er no panths im goin' swimmin'

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Q: How do you make an onion cry? A: You can't, it's an onion.

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Why did the man shoot up the movie theater? Because he spent his whole child hood playing Call of Duty Black Ops II, Left 4 Dead 2, and Minesweeper. And video games, are the only thing that would rive someone to shoot up a movie theater.

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A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. "What can I get you?" asks the bartender. "I want six shots of whisky," responds the young man. "Six shots? What’s the occasion?" asks the barman. "My first blowjob." "Well, in that case, let me give you a seventh on the house." To which the young man replies, "No offence sir, but if six shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."

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Why did Justin Bieber break his leg? Because, like you and I, he is faced with the same challenges and dangers on a daily basis, and should all take necessary precautions in his every day life.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and smashed his head on a jagged rock and screamed in anguish. Jill watched in horror as her brother suffered through the agonizing pain. Jack was rushed to the hospital immediately, but despite the doctors' efforts, he died. Jill mourned the loss of her brother for many years after the incident.

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If a blonde and a feather were dropped off of a building at the same time, which would hit the ground first? A feather is a light object and would most likely float all the way down at a slow velocity, the blonde is most likely 100+ pounds and would die because she is stupid.

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roses are red violets are green id love to flick owen cliffords mams bean

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Q: What did the black man say to his Ex wife after she placed a restraining order on him? A: nothing, he was no longer allowed contact with her of any kind and thus could not converse with her

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What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

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Q: Why did the boy fall off his bicycle? A: Because someone threw a fridge at him.

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I like my wine just like how I like my woman 5 years old and in my basement.

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What do you call a baby with no arms or legs? You call a lawyer, and be sure to have him ask the mother if she took Thalidomide during pregnancy.

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knock knock whos there boo boo who why are you sad my wife has cancer

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what is long, white, and used almost everywhere? there are a lot of things that fit this description, so it would be highly illogical to make a guess.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? They had a sale on dresses on the other side.

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes

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Roses are gray Violets are gray Pansies are gray Daffodils are gray I am a dog :)

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What did the boy eat for breakfast? Food

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if you don't like this you're gay

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What do you call a black man that has just gotten out of jail? A former criminal who has served his time in prison and is now trying to redeem himself by becoming a respectable member of his community

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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