what electronic vegetable sits in a chair? stephen hawking

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What did the horse say to the man? The man woke up from his dream so he didn't know either

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Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Ele PHa n T

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How do you make a hobo cry? You steal his trash.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

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Based on every event that ever happened on Earth, where is a terrorist most likely to plant a bomb? Site B. Many more people play CS:GO than attempt to bomb any real-world location. Site A is a close second.

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What do you call a German who roasts Jews for a living? A comedian.

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Why is it okay to have four cats? Because I said so.

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Your mother is so fat because she inherited poor genes and dietary habits from her own parents.

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Whats wrong with me? Your alive.

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How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel

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if your having trouble coming through the back door, try a Butterfinger

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Why is my penis 2 inch hard? Because I rape little boys with it and there tight little asshole are crushing it

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What's the differece between a rock and a black guy? A rock can't eat fried chicken.

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What starts with f and ends in u-c-k? a:****

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What do you call a naked couple? Horny.

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Why did the girl have an abortion? Because she wanted a burger.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why don't you ask the chicken. I am sorry but I as a human being am totally incapable of understanding and communicating with chickens.

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What is similar between a dog and a cat? They are both dogs except for the cat.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This site.

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tea with milk?

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How do you make a Cowboy cry? You kill his family.

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Who won in a game of Brawl... Holden

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops