A man wearing dark sunglasses walks into a convenience store with a dog on a leash. He goes to the middle of the store, and he starts swinging the dog around over his head by the leash. The store clerk comes over and asks, "what are you doing?" The man replies, "Ajiohskdcojqpowuskncvlkzb" Not knowing what else to do, the clerk calls 911. It turns out the man's name is Ruprict, and he has escaped from the local mental institution. A police officer shortly arrives to bring Ruprict back to the hospital.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 encountered 7 in the Vietnam War where he killed 6's brothers, leaving him scarred. 6 has countless nightmares due to the numerous visions that reminisce that situation in great deal. Also, 7 had a big hook on his hand, which was very scary.

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I just flew in from New Zealand, and boy am I tired. It was a really long flight and I found it incredibly difficult to sleep in those seats, so I didn't bother and kept myself awake watching in-flight films the whole way.

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Why do showers have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers

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Yo momma is so old that she will be moved to a nursing home next week.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being brutally murdered as you are watching your guts spilling out of your body

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Take wrong turns

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What do you call double A's? Batteries

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WHYS S AFRAID OF B CAUSE OF SBB

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A seal walks into a club. The poacher continues to beat the seal to death.

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would you rather harry styles my dick have harry styles suck my dick or both of you style on my harry dick?

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To mama so old, she might die soon.

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Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? Who me? Couldn't be.

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How do you make a dog hate you for the rest of its life? Steal its bone and beheaded it.

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There's 3 guys, a fat guy, a skinny guy, and muscular guy. 7 days later, the fat guy receives an invitation to the zoo. It turns he got a new job and his friends was so proud.

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What do you call 50 jewish, homeless men peeing into a river? Pollution.

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Where would Tupac be if he was white? Not the morgue

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What's the difference between Obama and a monkey? They are two different species, so thus they are very different.

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Q: what is blue and has no legs A: A crippled boy painted blue

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Why do bees fly? Because evolution made them

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that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

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Yo momma's so hairy when you were born you almost died from rug burn.

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Boy: Your father must be an alien, because there’s nothing else like you on earth! Girl: *whispering* please don't tell anyone we are trying not to be noticed...

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Adeeeellllleeeee where are my shorts

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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