What do you get if you cross a fairy cake with some boiled parsnips? Fladgemuffin

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Scenario - Two astronauts are kayaking down the Sahara dessert. Question - How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse? Answer - Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy This song doesn't rhyme PENIS

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Yo momma's such a whore that she violates the sanctity of marriage by sleeping with other men other than her husband.

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Q what r u eating under there? Aunderwear ewww thats nasty

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Girl:Do you wanna hear a joke? Boy:Sure... Girl: jesus loves you

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What's the same between a white guy and a black guy? They are both white except for the black guy.

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Knock knock Whos there Bill O hey bill

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Whats the difference between a house and a mouse If you think about it , quite a lot really

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A police officer walks into a bar. He uses the ATM and withdraws 20 dollars. After greeting the bartender he leaves the establishment and proceeds to go on duty. The cop was really friendly.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Depending on the amount of saliva you produce each lick the answer to this question varies species to species.

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Why did Michael Phelps drown? He didn't because he is the best swimmer in olympic history.

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What happens when you play a country song backwards? Gibberish.

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Why did the man fart? He didn't. Stop being so dirty-minded.

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There is a bus full of puppies and babies with a plane flying above it carrying 2 tons of explosives. The Bus arrives safely at its destination.

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How do you get a woman to stop nagging? Smack her in the face.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? extremely unfortunate...

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Q: What did Bobby get for his first birthday ? A: Adoption papers

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Knock knock. Who's there? Cargo. Cargo who? Cargo beep beep.

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What time will the little girl get up for school? Never, she died in her sleep.

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knowck knowck whos there? shea shea who? shea...duh!

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Chlamydia

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Why did the little boy want to sleep with his parents in their bed on the only night in weeks they'd planned to have sex? His bedroom was on fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops