What did the homeless man get for his 34th birthday? 34 years of regret.

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Safety in numbers? Try telling that too six million Jews.

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a man walks into a bar several people leave as they can see the potential danger in the situation. - the man (also so known as a hippo) was Matt Ross

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what is awesome but stupid at the same time? school i lied about the awesome part :p

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How did Debbie get a black eye? Because her dad asked her to take off her pants and she refused so he beat her

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Why didn't Suzie ride her bike? Suzie's mother aborded her. She was never born.

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Your mom is so fat that her doctor told her to go on a diet.

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What did the dealer say to the addict? Sup.

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Your mom goes to college. Actually, she graduated a while back!

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Yo Mama's so fat that she is at risk for diabetes

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You are so ugly that when you were born the doctor didn't say anything to your mother because he has social manners.

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On Wednesday night, a drunk man was walking on the cliffs of dover. his funeral was saturday.

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Roses are red violets are purple what the hell happened to your ugly face

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A black, jew, mexican, and american are on the boat. The boat begins to sink. As an idea, they all throw stuff off the boat to try to stay afloat. The black throws off cotton, the jew throws off yamakas, and the mexican throws off sombreros. Then, the american throws off the mexican because there are too many in his country. The mexican drowns. The boat still sinks and the american goes to hell while the other go to heaven.

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Q: Why didn't i save my work? A: Because i didn't do any work?

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What Happens when you shoot a deer? It's Dead

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, that was a turkey. Oh.

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what dyu call a jew on the moon? a problem. what dyu call ten jews on the moon? a bigger problem. what dyu call all the jews on the moon? problem solved.

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What's orange and fluffy? Orange Fluff

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What store adopted the dog ? The Pound

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David shut the fuck up your cat has asthma and i dropped a weight on its little fucking head that pikey should of drowned it furthermore your sister looks like a greasy alien

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How do you stop a dog from digging up your garden? Every time it does so, shout at the dog so it knows it has misbehaved. Keep doing this and the dog will eventually understand the error of its ways.

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A man and his young child walk into a clinic to get physical check-up. The man learns from the physicist he doesn't mater. His wife remarries and start having frequent sex and the child is scarred for life. This is irrelevant because both parents don't exist and this is all a constant delusion in an psychiatric hospital.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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