A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead why did the dog fall out of the tree? because it was attached to the monkey

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Why didnt Stevie Wonder wave back at the white man? Because he's a racist.

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"I see," said the deaf man, to the blind man, who had no ears.

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Knock knock Who's there? A fireman. You're house burned down.

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Why did the drunk walk into the bar? Because he has a serious drinking problem.

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Wow, so today is 9/11? Yes.

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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You wanna hear a clean joke? Mary takes a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man.

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what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

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What do you call a black Englishmen? Rodger

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jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

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i'll leave 'em dead in the living room. get it leave 'em dead in the living room

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench is an inanimate object.

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What do you call a good anti-joke? something you feel like you should go to hell for laughing at.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

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What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

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Three men walk into a bar and suffer permanent brain damage

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What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

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Why is water clear? Because it doesn't have a pigmentation.

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Why did the cow fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second cow fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first cow.

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What did the man dying of cancer want for his birthday? To live.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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