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What did the black guy say to the Jewish guy when it began to rain? It's raining.

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Why was the man so fat? Because he is in a wheel chair and can't exercise.

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Red sky in the morning, Shepard's warning. Red sky at night, Shepard's Fulcrum.

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Q: Why did Jimmy not have balls? A: A terrible, terrible sand paper accident.

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what did the man do when he was at the end of his rope? he bought more rope.

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What do you call a blue horse with two legs and five eyes? A blue horse with two legs and five eyes.

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Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

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how do you confuse a brunette? paint yourself red and throw a fridge at her

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why did sally fall off the swing cause she had no arms knock knock who's there? not sally

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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why did Lucy fall down? she got hit with a hammer

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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What do you call someone who's father is black (born in Kenya), mother is white (born in Canada), and was himself born in Australia? Someone with tri-citizenship

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Your dad is so hairy, that he shaves to look more cleanly.

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What do you call a shoe with milk in it? Shoe

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One day a there was a guy walking down the street. If you thought this was a joke, you're wrong.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange ya glad i didn't say banana

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What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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If you were on an island with one wish what would you wish for? To get off the island

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Why did the blond check your phone? AIDS

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Why couldn't the fireman get over the hill? Because he was dead.

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what's worse than stubbing your toe? 9/11

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What did the blonde call her pet zebra? Isaac

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops