what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

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What did the atheist say to the jew. Well first they had a long discussion about religion and the jew was actually made an atheist. Truly the work of God.

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A duck walks into a bar and says, "Put it on my bill"

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Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on?

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A man walks into a bar wearing large and baggy pants. The bartender asks him, "Why the large, baggy pants?" The man replies, "Because they're comfortable."

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knock knock. Whos there? YELLOW PEOPLE

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A drum and a cymbal fall off a cliff...

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What is faster? A bottle of milk or a sand-filled pin ball machine? A fighter jet, stupid!

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What do you call a man with no legs or arms trying to ski? Impossible.

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What would Walt Disney do if he were alive today? Gurgle and choke inside his cryogenic vault as liquid nitrogen flooded into his lungs.

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Sickman Fraud, cocaine snorting alshole... "Oh yeah mommy I love raping you so much... What where are you? This cocaine is really bad quality man! The effect was so short..." Your friendly r*pist neighborhood Moral Man: "Because since when do you really need cocaine... ...In order to rape your mother?"

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Your mother is of a healthy weight and a pleasure to be around.

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why did the man have a hole in his face? because syphillis had eaten a hole in it

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What's worse than a baby on a mattress? A baby under a mattress.

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What would Muhammed do?

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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if you write treehouse backwards it spells gullible.

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One day a man discovered he could suck his own penis. Unfortunately he was heterosexual and could derive no pleasure from doing so as he was acutely aware of the fact he had a penis in his mouth.

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Two penguins, sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap!" The other says, "What do you think I am?! A clock?"

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Why can't Osama bin Laden make anymore terrorist attacks? He's dead.

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Homo say what?

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What do you call 100 black men at the bottom of the ocean? A scuba group because during these hot summer months they like to cool off and go scuba diving.

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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