Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

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Why was the muslim surprised? A tyrannosaurus rex bit off his legs.

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Q: How did the Irishman die? A: He was old.

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Why did the crossing guard drop his whistle? Because a kid got hit by a passing elephant.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? All of them.

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Knock Knock Who did that?

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead why did the dog fall out of the tree? because it was attached to the monkey

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A jew walked out of a bar then goes to the other bar across the street then walks out from the back door to go to another bar The Actions of this jew tells us that there are only 3 bars in the zone and one pet shop

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knock knock? whos there? danielle danielle who? danielle the liar...hehe

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Why did the little boy let go of his balloon? Because I was raping his face.

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A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing set? Because she didn't have any arms.

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What did the Asian man say to the Mexican man? Nothing, due to the language barrier.

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A horse walks into a bar. Realizing the severity of the situation, the bartender heads toward the exit... stumbling over a chair.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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Have you heard any anti-jokes? ... Are you Jewish by chance?

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Mel Gibson and a Jew walk into a bar They proceed to have a pleasant conversation and both take taxis home

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A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

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Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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Why did the boy give the girl flowers? Because her parents died in a car crash and he felt bad.

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How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

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Two guys stopped at a restaurant for coffee. "I'll have a mug of strong coffee," said the first. The second said, " I'll have strong coffee too, but I want a clean mug." The waiter returns and says, "which one of you wants the clean mug?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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