How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

A white man got injected by Heroin at a party and got instantly addicted.

Why did Sally's ice cream melt? She was on fire.

Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

Q: What did the dog say to the owner when he took him to the vet? A: Nothing. It's a dog. It can't talk.

where did you get those clothes? at the toilet store.

A dog walked into a bar. He was a trained seeing-eye dog leading a man who had been blind since a tragic industrial accident a year before.

This planking craze is really taking over... my elderly nextdoor neighbour has been planking in her garden for three days straight!

Okay, after this one then...

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

Whats invisable and smells like a apple? An invisable apple

Good afternoon.

what does the monster eat after going to the dentist? the dentist

My mother's star sign was Cancer. Ironic how she died really. She was attacked by a giant crab.

Q: What did jerry sandusky do with little boys alone? A: Teach them how to play football

Whats similar between an apple and a black guy there is no similarities between them

Why did Sally fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

You have 37 candy bars and you give your friend 12. What is the square route of the sun? Yes

An alligator was found wearing a vest. The investigator had no comment... As alligators are incapable of speech. ^^^

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, there is no reason for a chicken to need to cross a road.

A deaf man walks into a bar. A few minutes later, cops come in and takes the poor man into the cop car and takes him downtown to the precinct for booking. Meanwhile, back in the bar the deaf man drinks his beer and converses with the bartender in sign language.

What do you do if life gives you lemons? Whoa... where did these lemons come from?

What's black, white, and red all over? Numerous different objects because many different things can posses a variety of colors, including the ones listed above.

What did the sleepy man say to his wife? I'm sleepy.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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