Or something... Volume one. What do you do if you are in the jungle and get confronted by one jaguar to your left, and one tiger at the right and got only one bullet left in your gun? You shoot the Jaguar and drive home in the tiger.

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Two guys walk into a bar.The barmen says "sorry we are closed." So the two men reply "There isn't a closed sign on the door and the door was open so we assumed it was OK to come in and have a drink". The barman says "Sorry we are closed at the moment but come back in 20 minutes and I can serve you". So the men leave and come back for a drink in 25 minutes time.

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A devout Christian dies– Peter winks as his soul passes through the impenetrable Gates of Heaven. Everyone is gay and– like, gay as in happy– Homosexuals aren't allowed in.

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Roses are red Violets are blue My walls are yellow

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What did the sphinx say to the Minotaur? Nothing, as they are fictional creatures and in according to probable science, don't not exist.

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What happened when the man crossed the road? He lived happily ever after because he looked both ways for traffic.

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What floats in the toilet and looks like a log? A log.

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Why did the girls ice cream melt? Because she was on fire.

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Whatsthe difference between a pile of dead babies and a chicken? Chickens don't make me laugh.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a bmw? I don't have a bmw in my garage.

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What's up? Well it all depends on your current position, if you are in the center of the Earth then everything would be up. In space there is no gravity so nothing is up. If you don't understand this the sky is up.

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I am paralyzed from the neck down.

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Poop.

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what do you call a farm without animals a house with a big yard

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A black man, a Pakistani and Jew sit at a bar. It's great to see such a cosmopolitan community.

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Why did the faggot cross the road? Because he was a faggot.

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What is black, white and red all over? An interracial couple that has been shot and murdered.

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That's not mine! it's bigger and blacker! ...where have i heard this before?

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Knock Knock who's there? Steve Steve who? Steve. I already told you my name.

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A blond walked into a bar. A guy picker her up and then they had sex.

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Womens Rights. Excist in nearly every country on Earth today.

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What did the barber say to Chewbacca? DAAAAAAYYYYUUUUMMMM!!!

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How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

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Chick Norris... Enough said

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops