Knock knock I don't even have a door just walk in

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Why didn't Sally go to the party? Because everybody hates her and she wasn't invited.

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a man walks into a bar, when he leaves he thinks he can hold his liquor and kills a mother and two children attempting to drive home.

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why did the clown cross the road? to kill everyone in the dark knight midnight premiere

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A man is standing on the street corner waiting for the bus. As it pulls up he steps on and pays his fare while he whistles to his iPod.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting eaten alive by midgets with down syndrome

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why did the chicken cross the road? cause kade touches himself at night

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Why was Johnny sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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What do we call Osama? Osama

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What is a Will And Dan put together A WillDan HAHAHAHAHA

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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What the difference between a ferarri and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage. That would be murder.

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What's worse then an adult dying A baby dying

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What's funny about a dying dog? Nothing.

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Q: Why did the dead baby cross the road??? A: It was stapled to the chicken.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke 'er face.

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Q. What do you call a Widow's Husband? A. Dead...

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Why can't you get a bull to talk? Because it felt like beating the shit out of you and mounting you.

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How long does it take a person to steal a television? Many variables could determine said ability to successfully steal a television. Such variables depend on sub-variables such as weight of the television, whether the television is a store, an upper-class citizen's home, or in a "ghetto" apartment. A main variable could be the race of the thief in question. African Americans are scientifically more likely to steal a television faster compared to a Caucasian. Yet a downside to being an African American is the fact that they are more likely to be called in for questioning or arrested on the spot at their broken down home. Caucasians are less likely to be questioned and if caught will most likely obtain the proper amount of bribery money in which to pay off the police.

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What do Whitney Houston and Selena Gomez have in common? They are both dead. Exept for Selena Gomez..

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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"Hey hey hey, did you hear the joke about the guy with terminal cancer?" "No." "Sorry to break it to you then."

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Knock Knock whos there? a black man ohh ok come in

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops