It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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What's another name for asexual reproduction? Parthenogenesis.

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Ellen: Knock knock Steve: Who's there? Ellen: Banana Steve: Banana who? Ellen is offline and can't receive messages right now.

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what did the little boy say to his mom? nothing his mother died in childbirth.

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a tiger swims into the indian ocen and eats a tuna. the tiger shortly dies

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so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

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Q1: How do you get an elephant to laugh? A1: Tell it a joke. Q2: How do you get a cow to laugh? A2: Cows can't laugh.

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wow, that guy is such a buzz-kill. worse than Buzz Killington!

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Why did a chicken cross the road? To see The Doors.

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Are you still trying to turn me on or something? Well its not not working. Anyway, what is yogurt? So I am eating dead bacteria here? Ifs so strange I feel like I have known you my entire life.

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Why does the same anti-jokes pop up over and over again? Because people have no creativity.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because a fridge hit him.

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What do you get when you cross a pug and a beagle? A cross pug and a cross beagle.

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Why did the black guy get hit by a banana He was low on potassium and his friend threw the banana too hard

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What's worse than a worm in your apple That one time I rapped and killed your mom, oh and happy birthday prick

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What did the faggot say? Nothing, he shot himself due to high school bullying and rejecting parents.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are polemicists.

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Person1: Have you heard about the girraffe who doesn't eat Georgia peaches? Person2: yes. Person1: Oh, never mind then.

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Why do white people not eat crackers? Cause it's cannabalism.

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women's rights.

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Why do black people like chicken? Because it's tasty, nutritious and easy to cook.

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why couldn't jonny ride on a swing? he had no arms or legs why didn't jonny have any arms or legs? he's a potato!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from KFC.

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Q. Why did the little girl drop her ice cream? A. She dropped it as she got into the van

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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