A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: "What kind of bread would you like? Brown or white?". Penguins answers: "Well, it doesn't really matter since I came here by car!".

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hi michael

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my egg roll

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What did the priest do to the young catholic boy? Bless him.

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What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

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Why are there no Jews in hell? Because Hitler is there,

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt it got hit by a truck before it got to the other side.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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I went out for a nice evening with my wife last week, and we kept getting dirty looks because I'm 42 and she's 19. I get that people are a little weird about that for whatever stupid reason, but it totally ruined our tenth anniversary.

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Why did the black man kill himself? Because he had a very serious case of depression brought on by his recent divorce

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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What is 1 + 1 equal to? 2, because if you have one orange and if you add another orange, you will have 2 oranges, therefore 1 plus 1 is 2.

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What's blck and blue and doesn't like sex? The ten year old in my car.

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"I had angry birds before it was cool." -Alfred Hitchcock

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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How did Hitler make the world a better place? He died.

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thomas the train walked up to an old man and said nothing. mostly because trains cant walk, and they cant talk.

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whats the same between a mouse and an elephant? They are both small except for the elephant

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How much does a polar bear weigh? About 800 pounds

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So there is this moose and he goes to a grocery store and asks, "where are the potatoes?" the employee says "aisle 5" and when the moose checks in aisle five, there are no potatoes.

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What is life? Paul.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? i lost my tractor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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