A man walked into a doctors and said, “Doctor help! My arms have stopped working” to which the receptionist replied, “I’m not the doctor and you need to make an appointment.”

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Roses are red, Violets are violet.

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I'd rather kill myself than commit suicide.

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How do you make a unicorn? Jab a stick through a pink horse and name it Liam

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Why did the communist fail his history class? Because he didn't study hard enough.

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A woman walks into the kitchen to see her husband cooking dinner because gender stereotypes have been dead for years.

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matt has ebola...funny right!?

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A black man walks into a bank with a gun. He then clocks in and takes duty because he is a security guard at the bank.

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so a piece of grass is walking down the street..... wait a minute thats not right.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the KFC man was chasing him.

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What is better then winning the special olympics? Not being retarded

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What did George Washington say to his men before they got on a boat? Men, get on the boat

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If Bob has 65 sweets and he eats 57 how many does he have? Bob has diabetes. He has high blood sugar, either because the body does not produce enough insulin, or because cells do not respond to the insulin that is produced.

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What the the Tyrannosaurus say to the chicken? Dinosaurs are extinct and even if they were not, it would not say anything to a domestic fowl, it would most likely devour it with one bite.

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What's funnier than a fat person falling nothing is

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if you have two gay people, would their kid be gay too? oh wait....

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A man was going to take his girlfriend to prom, and decided to pick up his suit from the dry cleaners. Unfortunately, there was a long line. He then went to pick up some flowers for his date, but there was a long flower line. Finally, he takes his date to prom and decides to get some punch for them.He returns with the refreshing beverage and the couple has a wonderful time.

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Why couldn't little Susie ride her bicycle? She had Cerebral Palsy.

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Two guys jump off a cliff... the third guy calls an ambulance.

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What's long and black? A black hockey stick.

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Q: How do you keep a carnival fish for more than a week? A: Place it in formaldehyde when you get home

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Whats black and white all over? Michael Jackson

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why the fuck he crossed the road, I don't know what he is thinking.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops