What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? Because she was hungry.

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Why was sally crying? She could hear her parents having sex.

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A dyslexic atheist stays up at night wondering if there is a Dog

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What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

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How many Druggies does it take to make toast. One.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Rhyming is hard, Zebra.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair... Fuzzy Wuzzy has cancer

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What is the difference between my dog and my girlfriend? I love my dog

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A man says hello to his best friend in the morning like he always does. Why did his best friend not reply? The mans best friend is not real and is actually a figment of the mans imagination because he has been suffering from a severe case of schizophrenia his whole life and has many imaginary friends.

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all your base are belong to mark

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Why wouldn't anyone want Helen Kellers dog? It's been buried for a long time...

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A man jumped off a cliff. He died.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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One time, as a dare, John was forced to eat 5 king size chocolate bars, 3 cakes, 8 Oreo Milkshakes, and 7 packages of Krispy Kreme Donuts. As a result, John has diabetes.

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What did the mother do when she find out her daughter left for the party? Nothing. She realized her daughter was old enough to make mature descions.

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What is the only day of the year when you're guaranteed to find me? The day I kill you.

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Knock knock, Who's there? The police, you have committed 14 major felonies and you are being arrested.

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What worse that punching a baby? Stabing one.

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Why didn't the Hispanic die in the bus explosion? Because he was at home playing with his children when it happened.

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Elephants can jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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why was there no toothpaste left in the toothpaste tub? someone squeezed it all in a drawer

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A fireman walks into a bar. Everyone has burned alive already, and he's too late to save them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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