hello there i am a male from the small town of balamory and i have just found a very large oblong with an acute right angle strongly attached to the left hand side........do you think i should hand it to the new york extra torestial services ?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Roses are red vielots are blue but they aren't as sweet as you.Can you be my Valentine ny choclate cupcake will you me my choclate

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the tide say to the sea?ANSWER-- Long time no sea. LOL Issaiah from OHIO yolo

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call a blue colored dog with seven legs, that oinks? not a dog...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q-if you are what you eat ,does that make you cannibal? A- yes

thumb_up thumb_down -22

yo mamma's so fat, when she jumped into the ocean, everyone yelled "tsunami!".

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Whats better than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork. Whats better than catching a baby with a pitchfork? Eating it afterwords.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's worse than beating a dead horse? Nothing. Beating a horse is just too much fun

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A hat.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? We are both dinosaurs.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I Raped And Killed A Little Girl Called Zoe. It All Started When I Raped A Girl In Her School, I Always Waited Outside Of Her School in my white van, one day the girl I raped before Zoe confronted me in my white van, I asked her if she wanted to see my puppies in the back of the van, she said yes, I locked her in there, I kidnapped her. The next day that girl Mysteriously Died. Iwonder how? Tee hee hee... The next day Zoe came up to my van, She also said yes about the puppies too! I kidnapped her and raped her. The next day I was rushed to hospital, I was revealed by the doctor I Had Been Diagnosed With HIV, I knew it was from her because she is the only girl I'd raped, So I walked home. When I Was Walking Home, I Was Thinking About How Angry I Was With That Lil' Bitch; I Was Thinking of ways to kill her, when I got home I heard her listen to; Bang Bang~ By Ariana Grande, Nikki Minaj And Jessie J. That Got Me thinking, Ah, that's how I am going to kill her. So I opened my cage and Got my gun out; I killed her. Blood Was Dripping Down from her head, I Grabbed the corpse and put It in my basement, after that I started licking her fanny, Drinking Her pussy juice. Then I drained all of her Blood out of her body and bottled it. After all the draining I had 600,000 Bottles. I Drunk one of them. and may I just say: it was delicious! After that, I went online and sold all the bottles to I.Am.A.Vampire.Com For £1million Pounds!! Man is now mega rich and I brought a slut and fucked her. I Now lift a fucking amazing life because of a vulnerable, Dumb Ass girl called Zoe. Thank you!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why black people are so good at football? Because they have white feet.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How much dub could a dubstep dub if a dubstep could step dub?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti deep thoughts, by Fabian Monge'. The other day while parked at a stop light i was looking in the rear view mirror at the person who was blowing his horn at me. I then realized that while i was looking back at him the light had been green for a while. I then thought that i had better drive forward because i was holding up traffic, and that it was very selfish of me to waste other peoples time like that while wondering what was going on behind me instead of what was happening in front of me. In the time it took for me to come to this conclusion, i had wasted another few seconds of someones time. How very selfish of me.....

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Roses are red, Violets are blue, this is stupid, Violets are purple Violets are purple Oranges are orange Nothin' rhymes with orange wait.... DOORHINGE!!!!! -sincerely, That famous Orange on YouTube

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the little boy with diabetes get for Christmas? A shot of insulin; just like every other day.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's the difference between car keys and truck keys? Literally nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Yo mama so fat, she was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes and has been instructed by her physician to exercise and regularly monitor her blood glucose levels.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What is black and likely to fail? A chain smokers lungs.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Yo mama so fat she at the rest of this joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What starts with P and ends with ORN? Porn

thumb_up thumb_down -22

STOP BULLYING FAT PEOPLE. They have enough on their plate

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Did you hear about the human cannonball who lost his job? Circus attendance is on the decline, as people are spending less money on entertainment, due to a slow economy and poor consumer confidence. Because the circus owners paid him under the table, he did not qualify for unemployment and was force to take a job at Hardies. He has a drinking problem and suffers from depression.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Whats slower than molasses? A dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops