A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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Q: How do you get a bunch of mexicans attention? A: Say excuse me, can I have your attention please?

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Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and an avacado? Michael Jackson molested a 12 year old boy

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Womens Basketball.

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Knock Knock. Ow! Why you hit me!?

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How do you occupy a blonde for a day ? You put her in a round room and tell her to sit in a corner. ... That or you strap a bomb to her, give her a list of twelve billion things to do, and tell her the bomb will explode if she doesn't do everything on the list.

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Jingle bells, jingle bells, Jingle all the way Oh what fun it is to ride in a poop poop fart turd fart, dildo

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Q. What's green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree A. A pool table

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Who Lives in a Pineapple Under the Sea? No one, its physically impossible to live in a fruit and breathe under water

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Your momma's so fat that when she goes to the beach, she feels self-conscious in front of all the other beach-goers.

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A man is having dinner with his family at a restaurant. While eating his food, the father tells the waiter,"This food is delicious! My complements to the Chef." When the waiter comes back to the kitchen he says "You are a very handsome man."

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What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

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Why DIDN'T the skeleton cross the road? ..He didn't have any private parts

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Why is Kim Jong Un so fat? Because he takes all the food in the country and sends his own people to live in concentration camps!

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Warenth Gibson. Warenth Gibson who? Warenth Gibson. What part of that don't you get?

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Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

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You're mama's so fat: she has to wear plus size clothing

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Steve, what do I write on a 3946 if more than two vehicles were involved?

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Your mama's teeth are so yellow, she decided to invest in a teeth whitening procedure and begin a healthier dental hygiene regimen.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you last put it.

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Yo mama's so fat, she possesses a Body Mass Index that is above the recommended value for healthy individuals and thus will have a greater risk for heart disease and other related health problems.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Cancer.

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What does a dyslexic person call God? Dog

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Your mommas so poor she can't afford food for her child. Thats you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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