A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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Why was the orphan crying? Because his parents are dead.

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Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and an avacado? Michael Jackson molested a 12 year old boy

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"Ask me if I'm an orange!" "Are you an orange?" "No."

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Q. What's green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree A. A pool table

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Who Lives in a Pineapple Under the Sea? No one, its physically impossible to live in a fruit and breathe under water

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Why didn't the man enter the bus driven by a black man ? It wasn't going where the man had to go.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Who. Who who? ... Who?

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Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says "MOOOOO!". The other makes an unremarkably similar noise.

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JUSTIN BEING SMART

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Your momma's so fat that when she goes to the beach, she feels self-conscious in front of all the other beach-goers.

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three men walked into a bar, the fourth one ducked

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How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb? How many? How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb?

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Warenth Gibson. Warenth Gibson who? Warenth Gibson. What part of that don't you get?

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Why is Kim Jong Un so fat? Because he takes all the food in the country and sends his own people to live in concentration camps!

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What do you call a mummy that falls into the Nile? Wet

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Steve, what do I write on a 3946 if more than two vehicles were involved?

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Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? She didn't have arms

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What does an elephant and a red soda have in common? Neither collects stamps.

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Yo mama's so fat, she possesses a Body Mass Index that is above the recommended value for healthy individuals and thus will have a greater risk for heart disease and other related health problems.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Since chickens cannot speak, it is difficult to say.

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Your mother is so fat that she wears xxxL clothing

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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