What has two legs? Half a cat

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What do you get when u cross a owl and a bungy cord...........my ass

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Three guys walk into a bar: a Priest, a rapist, and a pedophile...and two other guys

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What is worse than the holocaust. A worm in MY apple!

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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What do u call something that's sticky and in a stick form? A glue stick :)

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What's a vampire's favorite dessert? Vampire's don't exist What's Helen Keller's favorite dessert? Helen Keller doesn't exist

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What's John Lennon doing these days? Decomposing.

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6 in every 9 people find a dirty reference in every joke. This statistic is in fact false, as 5 in 9 people actually find a dirty reference.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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"I see." said the blind man to his deaf son.

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What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its pelvis

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A black guy and a white guy both get pulled over by a cop for speeding. The white guy is promptly released with a stern warning, whle the black guy is thouroughly questioned and has his car searched for drugs, with the probable cause being that the black guy has bloodshot eyes, reeks of weed and has a bong in his frontseat.

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Your mother's so fat she occupies more space than a thin person does and is more likely to bump into environmental objects.

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Why was the little boy bald? Because he had leukaemia

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Hoverboards are still not available, and it's already October 21, 2015...

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Why can't Vampires go out in the sunlight? Because they don't exist.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was Gnrwhaf

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How do you get an Orphan's hands to bleed? Tell them to clap till daddy gets home.

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What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

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catastrophic anthropogenic global warming

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Why is Megan Fox so hot? Because the air conditioning broke.

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Q. What do you get when you cross a bird with a human? A. Arrested.

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- Knock knock. - Who's there? - Jehovah - Jehovah who? - Jehovah's Witness - Go f*** yourself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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