Q: What did the Lone Ranger say when he saw his horse coming? A: Here comes my horse.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Sometimes I finger myself to some Madonna and Mary J. Blige shit. - Jesse

thumb_up thumb_down -16

if you're jesus and you know it, clap your hands

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you make the queen of england cry? You rape her violently.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why is caleb mears sucha perv? becasuee its calebbbb ahahahahahahah

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what looks like a sock and goes on peoples feet? A sock

thumb_up thumb_down -16

E M I L Y L Y N C H B I L L I E J E A N L A R K I N YEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

thumb_up thumb_down -16

poop

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What would you call Martin Luther King Jr. If he was alive today? Alive

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: Why didn't johnny get any Christmas presents? A: Because he died in a house fire 3 years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what did Charlie Sheen say after he won a game of chess? I just won a game of chess!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock, knock Who's there? It's me Me who? Just open your damn door funny guy it's freezing out here I don't get it

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock Knock Who's there? A kind hearted serial killer who will win your heart emotionally and then shoot you to death unexpectedly.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the Chinese man fall down the stairs? He was shot in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: Have you ever seen Ray Charles wife? A: Nethier has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock Knock. Who's there? Jeffery Dahmer. Oh, good, you're finally here!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the man launch his rocket into the sun? He didn't. Overcoming the sun's orbital pull would require your rocket to travel ~7,400,000 mph, which is a velocity that is impossible for today's rockets to reach.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

sfdg

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's bigger than a horse ? An elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How many babies can you fit in a blender? None, the blender is too small. Also it is illegal to kill a baby infant because they are considered human. You can get life in prison or the death penalty for committing such a heinous crime.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are red, Violets are blue.. And IDGAF!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

"I see!" said the blind man, as he picked up a saw and hammer.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops