roses are read violets are blue my fanny is orange I have the flu my name is gemma

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What do you call a muslim flying an airplane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Check out our iPhone App!

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What's blue paint and smells like red paint? Paints

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why was the 18 year old white male late for his college class. On his way to college he got in a car accident and killed 5 people and he walked away unharmed

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Sally bought a shakeweight. She is an alcoholic and is ruining her family.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why did Jimmy fall off of his bike? Well, he was always known for his lack of balance.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What's funnier than a chicken? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Knock knock Who's there? Justin Bieber OH MY GOD REALLY?! No.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Q:Whats the difference between NBC and the NBA? A: The NBA is the National Basketball Assocation and NBC is The No Body Cares.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What's better than singing in the rain? Singing in a Pitt of fire. Oh wait that would be way worse than singing in the rain

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Whats sad about a black man killing himself? That shaft DVD that he rented will probably be late now.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

what do mexicans and grass have in common You find them both in your front yard

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? A miracle

thumb_up thumb_down -38

your mother is so fat that her doctor advised her to stick to a strict diet and exercise routine to help her lose weight

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Knock knock! Who's there? Joe Barkley. Joe Barkley who? ...

thumb_up thumb_down -38

i like candy and other things that are edible... please dont thumbs down just cuz this suxxx just put thumbs up and santa claus will haunt u :)

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Know what's funny? Not these jokes!

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why did the girl talk to her computer? Because she was Skyping with some faraway friends. Why were her friends far away? She was sent to the moon. Why was she sent to the moon? Because she tried to create eternal night.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What walks on the three legs? Martin, he was born with a tragic birth defect and struggles to make a living.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Do you know what Stevie Wonder's house looks like? No. Well, neither does he.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What's green, brown, red, and is covered with crumbs in a ditch on the side of the road? A girl-scout who got hit by a car...

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops