I found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school. I said, "Wow, I can't believe I just found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school." Later that day, my principal gassed the kindergarten classrooms with cyanide while shouting, "GO RAIDERS!"

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A cow walks into a bar and said, "Bartender give me a glass of milk!"

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Why was the man lying under a sheet. Because he was dead.

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How do you make a twelve year old girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear.

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Whats brown and sticky? A antelope.

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What is Black, White and Asian? A Panda Bear

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What's the opposite of a joke? An anti-joke. You're reading one right now.

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A muslim, a priest, and a raabi walk into a bar. All three of them agree that it hurt.

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Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dog house, if your parents are a washing machine and a dryer? A: Trick Question, dog houses can't fly!

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What's brown, smelly, and will never have a job? Poop.

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What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? we will never know he never opened it

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Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

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How you know when dislextic

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Q: What's green and goes through walls? A: A pickle, you just have to throw it really hard.

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How do you know if you are an alien? When you start maulesting sea creatures for their milk

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was shot In the face. Why did the cow fall out of the tree it was stapled to the monkey.

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What's the worst part about eating a dead baby? It's a tie between the smell, the taste, and the depression associated with whatever decline in humanitsy that has brought you to this point in your life. Overall, it's an outright terrible situation.

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How do you scare a black man? You dont

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i am an arrow and i did not hit your knee!f

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why did the mexican stab those people? why? he didn't you racist

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a white guy walks into a black guy bar who walks out. A. half black half white baby.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops