There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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What did the old man get for Christmas? He forgot because he has alzheimer's

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A muslim walks into a airport. He then boards his flight and is flown to his destination.

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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A cricket walks into a bar and the bartender says,"Hey, we have a drink named after you!' and the cricket says,"Oh really? You have a drink named Joe?"

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Cry me a river. Then build a bridge and become a structural engineer.

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Is it better to be born black or gay? No way to know. That is, unless you are black and gay.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your mom likes dick and so do you

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Gladly, you sound very confident, makes me happy. Well, doctors thought I had ADHD (go figure) but I am pretty calm outside the internet, then they went with ADD, but since my attention is twofold, this meaning that I can get a lecture, while noticing a toothpick falling on the other side of the room (noticing as in perceiving with focus not necessarily listening but you know, seeing from the corner of ones eye) Yet still focus well enough to get the lecture in details. So its not split focus such as in ADD, but dual, as in me being able to think about two things at once, but also burning out extremely fast, which again, is far from ADD.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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what did the guy do at the funeral? cry because his wife died

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Why do depressed people like sharp knives? Cause there good for cutting Salad

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How do you get a black guy to stop hanging around in your front yard? Hang him in the back yard.

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How many tortoises does it take to change a light bulb? One. Just don't expect it to be done quick.

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What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff. What's green and fluffy? Green fluff. What's red and fluffy? A kitten that got hit by a truck.

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What did the cat say to the human? Nothing

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Black people in Camden NJ.

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If Spongebob lives in Bikini Bottom, Where is Bikini Top?

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What did the korean say to the other korean. I don't know i dont speak korean.

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What do you get when you throw a bagel at a chicken? One less bagel.

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A muslim, a priest, and a raabi walk into a bar. All three of them agree that it hurt.

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What time will the little girl get up for school? Never, she died in her sleep.

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Was the last joke funny? Because this one isn't.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Not Suzy" "Why?" "Because she has no arms"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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