Finn: Jake, why can your body do all of those magical things? Jake: What do you mean? Finn: Oh never mind. And they both proceeded to enjoy a delicious breakfast.

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What do you call a person in a morgue? Dead.

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Q. what tall and looks like a jew? A.TODD

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How many apples do you end up with if your dog is a golden retriever who got raped by a giant scorpion? A jail

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What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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My heart is in my hands. Call an ambulance.

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there are seven of us," reply the babies, "now get us a round of bloody marys

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An astronaut walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After waiting for about 1 and a half minutes he receives his beer. The bartender says it was 3 dollars. The astronaut checks his wallet and finds no money so he pays with credit card. The bartender swipes his credit card but the card doesn't work. So the astronaut takes out his debit card. When the bartender swipes the debit card it worked. In relief the astronaut looks at the bartender and says "Thank you" and then goes home.

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How do you kill a retard? Give him a knife and say "who's special?"

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Wha do you call a couple with aids? 2 pepole who need immediate health treatment.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Q:Why did Santa, the tooth fairy, and a rich man jump out of a plane? A: On Christmas Eve, a rich man was skydiving and lost his tooth as he plummeted towards the beautiful plateau.

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Whats brown and sticky? A antelope.

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What's the difference between a nutcracker and a can of tomato soup? Oh... I don't know, I was asking you.

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Hey, have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Well, neither has he.

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What's an X-BOX? A box where you find a treasure

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what has wheels and is red. A heart, i lied about the wheels.

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how many drunk drivers does it take to drive home one and only one, if more than one drunk driver tried to drive home at the same time in the same car they would surely crash and not make it home.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They scolded her and sent her to her room.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Sara

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why did CJ cry?he just ate a pie full of meat from his favorite animal.Pig

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Twas brillig and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe, all mimsy were the borogoves and the momeraths outgrabe

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Once a upon a time there were three kittens that die, the end :D

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Why couldn't Johnny drive? Because he had no arms or legs. Why didn't he have any arms or legs? Because Johnny was a potato.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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