Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken. How do you get a baby to run faster? Chase it with the lawn mower. What do you get when you cut a baby with a straight razor? An erection. What do you get when you put a dead baby in a blender? Hold on. I'll tell you in a second. What's pink and spits? A baby in a frying pan. -S

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Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens, this is probably similar to other countries in similar situations such as middle eastern, eastern european, and latin and south america. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

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A man on his 21st birthday walks into a bar. He orders a piña colada. The bartender then replies "Sorry we do not sell piña coladas here." In disappointment, the man decides to order a different alcoholic drink and later becomes an alchoic for 20 years until he breaks his obsession and remarries his wife and has 5 kids. He then had a great life and died at age 92. He will be missed by his wife and children.

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Pickle

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What did Joe get for his first birthday? Nothing he died at birth

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A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar. It's an average bar. However these men don't drink. The priest ordered some onion rings, the minister fries and the rabbi poutine. They're good friends despite their different religious views.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? One is a devotee of the torah, one is a delicious meal.

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What did the Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know. I can't speak Chinese.

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what did the ghost say to the bee boo-bee

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Roses are red Violets are blue I gotta go to the bathroom

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Why was Yabba annoyed? Because the idiots who do the audio description voiceover for Timmy Time on BBC iPlayer frequently refer to her as a male even though she is clearly a female duck.

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what did the grandma do after she was pushing up daisies? washed her hands because gardening is a dirty activity

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Whats the difference between Rolf Harris and a pedophile Whoops I didn't quite think this one through

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roses are red,violets are blue,faces like yours belong in a zoo,but don't worry i'll be there to,not in a cage but laughing at you!

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Why did the young boy cross the road? because his dad beats him due to alcoholism and his mother is a crack whore.

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Why can't Roger drive a tractor? Because Roger is a goldfish

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What do you do when you see an epileptic having a fit in the bath? Laugh at him

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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Whats the difference between a cow and another cow Help my dogs eating me

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Q: a man in a camry runs over his wife. who's fault is it? A: toyota and their breaks.

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Why are asians bad drivers? Driving schools in asia are severely less developed and therefore produce less experienced and skillful drivers. They also have asian eyes (:

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What do you call a boy with one arm one leg and an eye patch? Names

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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