What's big and black? An ant i lied about in being big

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when life gives you lemons throw them away.. they are probably bad

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What's the different between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my penis up your butthole

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Q: humpty dumpty sat on a wall A: yeah right

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What's more sad then a dumpster full of dead babies? The live one at the bottom.

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What did the audience watching inception say at the end ................ WAT THE FUK

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What is worse than getting stung by 1,000 bees? Getting stung by 1,001 bees.

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Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

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John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

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roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

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Q: What did Steve say to his teacher on the first day of school? A: "My name is Steve."

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(Something terribly disturbing that people find funny)

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What's black and red? I black guy bleeding to death

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why can't Michael Jackson swim? Because he is dead.

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How come dinosaurs don't talk? Because they're dead.

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What kind of martial arts does the Jewish man practice? Kung-Fu

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Why is my grandpa always so grumpy? Because he has diabetes and life is very difficult for him.

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How do you make a baby fit in a bottle? Blender.

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What's worse than no wifi Nothing.

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What is the difference between a ginger and a pile of bricks? nothing. nothing at all.

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How do you make a twelve year old girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

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Mr. T watched "the notebook"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops