I don't often drink beer, but when I do, I make the poor decision to attempt to drive while intoxicated, kill a pedestrian, and end up in jail with a hangover, a DUI, and an account of vehicular homicide. Don't drink and drive simultaneously.

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: (sigh) Did what hurt? Boy: When you broke through the Earth's crust emerging from hell.

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How do you make a baby stop crying? Drown it in vinegar.

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The black man at the narcotics anonymous meeting said, "oh, this isn't bingo is it?" then walked out of the room feeling mildly embarassed.

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What did the Jew get for Christmas ....... An ashtray

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What did the french toast say to the french fry? I don't know, I don't speak french.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pickles.

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A boy called Justin bieber fell down a hole and died

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What did the penguin say to the fisherman? Nothing, they are different animals, and thus, unable to communicate.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Oh, they were just nailing a notice of foreclosure to the door.

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Jesus hates you this I know, because Buddha told me soo.

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What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

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What? I didn't say anything. Yes you did.

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Q: What did the ant say to the bush? A: Ernest Borgnine

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Why did it look like the girl peed herself? Because she peed herself

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut, you ***ing racist.

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Knock Knock Who's there? 20 20 Who? 24

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust What's worse then the Holocaust? Two Holocausts

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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cake cake and no cake, your life just ended

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What's Kanye West's main goal in life? To dash the hopes and dreams of Taylor Swift on national television.

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Q:Whats worse, being chased by a chainsaw or being dunked on by LeBron James? A:Since a chainsaw has one of the sharpest metal blades know to mankind, it would be the chainsaw. Although this reguires effort, it is a known fact that Lebron James has been dunked on by some kid at Xaiver, so I would think the chainsaw would hurt more.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was an avocado

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i dont care if you rate me or not

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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