Whats brown and sticky? - A brown stick.

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Q: Why Marc can't run? A: Marc is a leaf.

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Wanna hear a joke? no

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Hickory Dickory Dock. 2 mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one.. and the second one got away with major injuries, dying in a hospital three days later. The clock is now serving its 8th year in jail out of 25 years, and does not regret anything.

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i remember when i was a child i wanted a skateboard but my parents would never buy me one so late one night i crept downstairs and got a hammer and some wood and i beat them to death my foster parents baught me 5 skateboards

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Q: What did the cop do when he saw a mexican in his car? A: Nothing, he was looking in a mirror.

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Knock,Knock Who's there? The Police, Your under arrest for urinating on a toliet.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Who the f*** let out the chicken

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A man walks into a bar, and is brutally slaughtered by eight drunk customers.

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Where did the girl go when a bomb was dropped on her? Everywhere

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why did the man jump out of the plane without a parachute? Im not really sure, maybe to commit a slow and painful suicide.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To collect it's AIDS medication.

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Why was a black man in a police car? He is a police officer.

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What do you call a man who is walking into walls and poles? A blind man who really needs your help.

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your in court a woman police officer says anything you say can and will be held against you. the man replies titty

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How many bears does it take to screw in a light bulb? None; it’s a fairly menial task requiring little more than a single human hand. Requisitioning any number of bears for the effort would be an extremely dangerous “Rube Goldberg”-esque solution to simple problem.

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Why did the bones cross the street? They didn't. The dogs ate them.

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why did the chicken cross the road, but didnt make it he didnt cross it. he was pushed by a band of gang members and hit by a bus

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How do you confuse a blonde? take the albuterol

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

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good pick up line hey baby have u seen my heart cuz i think you stole it

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Simon says.. Nothing because he's deaf.

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One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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