Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk die and find themselves standing before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. Actually, that's just speculation. No one really knows what happens when you die. Most likely your consciousness simply stops, and you cease to exist, an eternity of oblivion. But most people can't face this possibility so we have made up comforting stories to attempt to ease our collective fear of death.

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whats worse than having no life? having no life and reading internet jokes all day!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It has been this way for two days now. Whenever he looks over his shoulder and past his wing, he can see them there. Following him. The men with the red eyes. He doesn't know what they want and doesn't want to find out. He crosses that road as he has crossed so many others recently, squawking and shuffling along on his stubby legs, darting through traffic in a risky effort to shake them off of his tailfeathers. He gets to the other side and ascends the curb, walking beak-first into a pair of legs hidden beneath a grey robe. He looks up and sees a pair of eyes like burning coals staring down at him from within the darkness of a hood. He tries to run, but it is too late. He has been taken. His wings and fingers are forfeit.

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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What do you get when you cross a rhino and a whale? Comment your answer:

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

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What did the bullet say to Bin-Laden? Suck it

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A Chinese man, an Italian man and a French man are sitting in a plane. They arrive in Los Angeles with a 23 minute delay due to atmospheric conditions

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Why did the black guy buy a bucket of KFC? Because he was hungry

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In soviet russia, child molests you! Unfortunately true

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Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

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"hey do you know the date" "58"

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Who's the slut of the alphabet? C.

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What did the talking muffin say to the other talking muffin? Ah! A talking muffin!

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How is an elephant like a grape? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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What do you call a black doctor? Doctor.

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why did the plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

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Remember when Jesse Ziegenbein was skinny?

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Why did Hitler shoot himself? Because he found out Chuck Norris was a Jew.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To reach his desired destination.

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What happen when Sarah made but her nose in other people's business? Her vagina got set on fire by cole and derrek shoved your head up his ass!

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I'm on a see food diet- it consists of fish and molluscs. sea*

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oh whatever donald trump's not going to be president. stop pretending he is

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops