What gets you a succesful life and career? Swag

A guy walks into a bar. NOT!

Roses are red. Violets are blue. You are a prostitute. I have a dollar.

Why did Little Suzy get hit by a truck? Well the real question is, "Why was Little Suzy in the road," so why was she? Because she felt like it.

Whats black and white and red all over? A dead zebra

Why does Eli Manning play for the Giants? Because he is huge.

Once Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a guy so hard that he got a large bruise.

A bus crashes and everybody dies.

what happens when steven hawking walks into a bar? everyone cheers at the miracle of science.

A circus clown climbs to the top of a five-storey ladder and dives into a foot-deep pool of water below. His neck is broken on impact. RIP Chuckles.

what did Harold Camping say to the little girl and boy? "You and your parents are going to die today"

How do you kill a blond? Stab her repeatedly in her throat

What do you call a person with no eyes, ears, or mouth? Helen Keller

Anders Lungren is a worthless peice of scrub

What do you call a rich black man? A auntrapanour who simply enjoys making more money than any average person

I am back with more jokes! -Lets go Mets It is best to dislike this one

why was 14 scared of 15? 7-8-9

Yo mama's so fat that when she went to go get an x-ray, they had to use the one they have at the zoo.

what did the blind, deaf, paraplegic child get for christmas? other than cancer, nothing.

How do you make Yoda sad? Kill all of his friends.

A dyslexic man gets asked what 1+1 is, he replies with a wopping 11. Grats <3

Why are Anti-jokes funny? Coz they are not.

If your reading this you will realize that this sentence means nothing and I have just taken 5 seconds of your life that you'll never get back.

Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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