What do you get when you cross a pumpkin with a kangaroo? An irrelevant punchline.

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roses are red violets are blue i smell meth abkfjbekfhbkfsdshjfbkhb

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Q: What is every blonde's ambition? A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

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What do you get when you cross a leopard and Chuck Norris? I don't know. Probably something like a furry yellow Chuck Norris with black spots and sharp teeth.

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Q: There was a train wreck in the middle of nowhere, every one died, no one saw the train wreck, so how did the story about the wreck get out? A:Many philosophers believe that the universe is a figment of its own imagination. Therefore, if "the universe" decided that it wanted the story to get out, it could have just made it so since it is its own imagination.

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So a guy is on his way to work and he nearly gets hit by a bus. He sticks his middle finger up at the bus driver but a couple seconds later he realized that it was the same bus he was supposed to get on so he apologized to the bus driver and got on the bus. He was 15 minutes late for the 420th time this week so he was fired from his job and went back home. On his way home he was not allowed on the bus because he left his oyster card somewhere so he had to walk home. 69 minutes later he arrives home to his wife and kids. What did the man say to his wife when he got back home? "Hi."

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What is about the size of a sausage, flesh-colored and looks like a penis, if you illuminate it with a flashlight on monday nights? - a penis.

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If god gives you lemons keep the lemon go to the store and buy oranges to make orange juice.

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WITH YOUR RED THUMBS COMBINED! I AM CAPTAIN MORAL! You: GOOOOO (AWAY) MORAL! CAPTAIN MORAL MAN, IS A HERO, GONNA TAKE GREEN THUMBS RIGHT BACK TO ZERO... Moral: Okay that is all I remember about the Captain Planet Theme song... GIVE ME RED THUMBS MUAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA! PS: Redhead, three months have passed (more or less) I wont call you because we agreed you would get of this fucking place, but I can visit you if you are a good little girl! And yeah I am calling you Red, Tifa just reminds me of Final Fantasy and your big bosoms so yeaaaaah get your little red haired cunt over here so we can chat yes?

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What do you call a blonde falling off a cliff? Screwed.

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What do you get when you cross a Chinese man with a dog? A happy Chinese man and a pile of dog bones.

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Why does Toby suck! Because he sucks!

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penisvaginaorgasm

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how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? TOO FUCKING MANY

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Why did Adolf Hitler Start WWII and kill millions of Jews? Because he was a poweful dictator

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What happens when an alien touches fire? It gets burnt

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In Opposites Land, you might think the opposite of small is big. But no, it's nail clippers.

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A man walks into a bar. He says "ow."

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What smells like pizza and likes to roll? Pizza rolls.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, STDs are contagious. Careful who you screw!

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How did the black guy survive the bus crash? At the time of the bus crash, it was a segregated community, therefore no black people were allowed on buses.

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What do you call a bad yo mama joke? your mom

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Your mom is so fat that she turns "One Size Fits All" to "One Size Fits Most"

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why did the chicken cross the road who's there and the man died of cancer congradulations! your preganant

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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