How do you survive the end of the world? You can't- everyone will die!

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Why did the man smell like french toast? His wife previously made him a plate of it that he ate before walking out of the house.

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Jokes are dumb. Stories are better. Did you ever hear the story of the blind man who walked into the fish market and said, "Evenin' ladies!"?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Neither does the chicken. (you're supposed to laugh...)

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Why did the boy Drop his Ice Cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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What do you call a one legged , one eyed, canadian fisherman called Samuel Browning? Mr Browning unless you are on friendly terms then Sam is fine.

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You know you guys are suppose to post jokes, not basketball comments.

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if you have 2 apples and 3 oranges in one hand, and 4 oranges and 1 apple in the other, what do you have? very large hands.

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Person A "did you hear about the cure for AIDS?" Person B "no." Person A "neither did I."

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was a woman

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what is pink and shaped like a banana? A pink banana.

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What did the black man say to the watermelon? Watermelon.

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What is the name of the car? What

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Do you smell that? Sex and candy?

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An African American and an hispanic man are in a car, who's driving? No one, they are having sex

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A man said hello to a woman. He was italian...

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Q: What's not funny and has three wheels? A: The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels and not being funny.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had Alzheimers and forgot that he lived on the other side of the street.

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Do you know what killed the cat? Feline AIDS

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why was the child crying? because his friend just got hit by a van.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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Call me Ishmael. Or don't. Well, you can, but I'm not forcing you. You could call me Steve or Bob, it's not really that important. I'm just around here anyway to tell about a huge white dick. A whale dick. A SPERM whale dick. Never mind. Or the guy whose obsessed with it. No, it's not what it sounds like. He just wants to stab it with his harpoon. Wait, that sounds even worse. Whatever. Anyway, call me Ishmael...

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What's hard when you eat a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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I know there are, its not the illuminati, its not reptilian shapeshifters, nor Gods politicians nor the human condition. Its society today as it stands, they did not have the right to attack us, but if we had surpassed them, they would have lost all power, they are the relics of the past, and no matter how many of them stand, they do not grow, and what does not grow, stagnates until it finally dies. Lose hope in people most all you want, but not in the few that truly believe in you for all the good reasons in the world, perhaps we are idealists, or maybe we know that with you by our side, what we see as ideals, is something you can make come true.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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