Q: What cat walks on two feet? A: Garfield Q: What mouse walks on two feet? A: Mickey Mouse Q: What duck walks on two feet? A: Donald Duck? A: No, all ducks you dipshit.

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wanna hear a joke? yes

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CNN has posted that the recent death of osama bin laden is comparable to decapitating a snake when really it is more akin to bisection of a worm.

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rabbits running in my bathroom!

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Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

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What did the stick of butter say to the lemon? "I'm a stick of butter"

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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If youre African, why are you white?

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The Dark knight rises................. From the place he was before he rose.

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A man walks in to a bar. He then walks in to a different bar, and later that evening he goes into a different third bar. That man is a bar critique.

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why did the man jump out of the plane without a parachute? Im not really sure, maybe to commit a slow and painful suicide.

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What did the homeless man say to bill gates? Nothing he was about to die.

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Why did sally fall off the swings? Because she had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sally

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Whats the difference between a pizza and your mom? Your mom's a bitch.

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knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

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i'm here at a school my friend is eats a pool fuck yeh

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Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: 7 is a registered sex offender.

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What did the farmer say when the potatoes were ready for harvest? The potatoes are ready for harvest.

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What happens when your scared half to death...twice!!? Nothing, being scared half to death is an expression, you should not be fearing for your life.

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As a kid I was always told that school would get me good places. As an adult, I have found that there is another thing that gets you into a good place. Shrooms.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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What do Austrailian cows say? Moo.

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A black man, a jew and a muslim walk into a bar. ... I forgot what happens next, so let's just say they have a good time and get back home safely.

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Why does Matt Daly do in his free time? it involves his finger and his own buttwhole

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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