Once upon a time there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the waffle say when the black guy started eating him? Nothing, because waffles are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why didn't children go to their grandma at summer? Cause, they were hit by a car earlier that year and they are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What happened when the black man and the white woman mated? Nothing. The man was infertile.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I can't hear you. I have carrots in my ears.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are red Violets are blue Thats what they tell me because I'm blind

thumb_up thumb_down -19

if life hands u melons, make melonade.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q-What happens when you grow tomatoes in Kansas on an odd number year when its an average of 398degrees Kelvin ? A-You eat em

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q. Whats red and smells like blue paint? A. Wheres my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the man walk instead of taking the bus? Because he felt like getting a heathy workout.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what is my catphrase nothing I am too good to have one

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a man who shoots someone? A very bad person.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the framer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

If the Trojan Horse was a deadly deception, is it My Lethal Phony?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Have you seen the newest starwars? What movie? I mean that episode where stars fight... Will Smith vs Keanu Reeves? I am talking about the stars in the sky firing at each other! You know, those star pilots on planes... Flown by Will Smith and Keanu Reeves? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (You heard that one in your head)

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Conner Schmidt's fiance has the fattest ass in the world <3

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what did one computer say to the other .........

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I would very much love to meet you again Erron, call me sometime I do not care how you get my number.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

My friend thought that an onion was the only food that could make you cry, so I threw a watermelon at his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Well, I guess it's back to the drawing board.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

teacher: who's going to pass english? students: us teacher: not you, i lied about the passing

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was the washing machine laughing? Because you're on drugs.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Matthew Wyckoff

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Once upon a time, there were two brothers jumping on a bed. The one stopped because the other fell off the bead and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops