There is no "I" in "TEAM" However, there is a "T" an "E" an "A" and an "M"

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What do you call a person who walks but doesn't run? A power walker What do you call a person who runs but doesn't walk? Someone running to the nearest bathroom holding there crotch.

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If you are reading this you are a nerd

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How many babies can you fit in a blender? None, the blender is too small. Also it is illegal to kill a baby infant because they are considered human. You can get life in prison or the death penalty for committing such a heinous crime.

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"I see!" said the blind man, as he picked up a saw and hammer.

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A man on his 21st birthday walks into a bar. He orders a piña colada. The bartender then replies "Sorry we do not sell piña coladas here." In disappointment, the man decides to order a different alcoholic drink and later becomes an alchoic for 20 years until he breaks his obsession and remarries his wife and has 5 kids. He then had a great life and died at age 92. He will be missed by his wife and children.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.. And IDGAF!

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What did the blind and deaf kid get for Christmas? Cancer.

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If Michelle rides her bike at 15 mph for 20 minutes and Erik rides his bike at 20 mph for 12 minutes, why is Michelle not in the kitchen?

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Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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Q: What's the upside to your otherwise miserable life? A: You only got raped twice last week.

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why did the chicken cross the road who's there and the man died of cancer congradulations! your preganant

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There was a man that Invited Bruce Wayne, Superman, Peter Parker, Batman, Clark Kent and Peter Parker to his party He was really sad when he heard only half of them could attend...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have the Cadillac, Get the Guns

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what does the sloth say to Jonah reincastle? nothing Jonah is the sloth

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What do a mole and an eagle have in common? They both can fly except for the mole

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What did the sad man say to the happy man? He didn't say anything he was so sad he killed himself.

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Why was the boy cold? Because he couldn't afford clothing.

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What's the difference between celery and a truck?

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How many Jews can you fit in the car? 4 in the seats and 6 million in the ashtray.

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What did the Asian, the black man and the jew have in common? To be honest i really don't know.

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Why is it good to date twenty eight year olds? Because there is twenty of them.

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Three cows are sitting in a field The first cow says, "MOOOO!" The second cow says, "MOOOO!" The third cow says, "MOOOO!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops