How many kids does it take to fix a light bulb 5 1 to fix the light bulb and the others to get in the van

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Why did Kristi drop her chap-stick? Kristi was of the many children held in hostage of the Jewish heritage during the times of Hitler's wrath. At the Concentration camps they were not given the opportunity to maintain a healthy, average diet thus decreasing her body strength. No longer could Kristi hold her chap-stick - alas her frail little fingers slowly released the cylinder shaped tube and hopelessly watched it hit the ground. As it hit the ground, a cloud of dust swept over Kristi's body. At the same time Kristi was taking a big whiff of fresh air (just kidding, the air at concentration camps were not fresh - it reeked of acid) she accidentally inhaled the dirt which fled through her body and made her faint. She woke up and it was a dream, lol.

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Do I know any jokes about sodium hypobromite? As a matter of fact, I do. It goes: "Do I know any jokes about sodium hypobromite? NaBrO."

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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What did the fridge say to the watermelon? Nothing.

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What do you call a homeless man in Beverly Hills? Charles, Someone who unfortunately had to drop out of school at a young age to work to support his dying mother. Hence, later in life, after his mother died, lacked the education to be enrolled in college forcing him to pimp to make enough money to eat and pay for the rent in his one bedroom appartment in his hometown-Mississippi. But times were tough in Mississippi and not many people could afford a whore. This forces him to go all the way to California where he found more people there were willing to pay for a whore. Business was good and soon enough he had enough money for a decent condo. But Charles still morned the death of his mother. Eventually he couldn't take the daily pressure of being a pimp and thought of his mothers death, so he turned to heroin. Soon all his money was fueling his addiction and before he knew it he was on the street, with no one to help him and no where's to go. Every night he goes to sleep on his cardboard box with the memory of his late mother in the back of his head. Sometimes Charles wonders what he could of been if he didn't drop out of school, but he knows that what he did was the right thing.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? the redneck got to him first.

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Only people of high intelligence can laugh at anti jokes.

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What happened to the boy who ate a piece of his Halloween candy? He died. It was laced with cyanide.

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Roses are red, violets are blue my neighbor is black he will jump you too

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What's scarier than a ghost? Practically anything as ghosts aren't real.

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What did the widow get for mother's day? A miscarriage

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Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water? A: It'll take a while for me to get hard cause i just got laid by a chick(: hahah.

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What is better then fisting? Fisting with a metal studded glove

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what did the boy with dyslexia get for his birthday? bad grades

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What did the man with the gun say to the man without the gun? I have a gun

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what was so bad about hitler? he inadvertently subjected his political officials to death by rope

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What`s that CREAM that comes out of you when your mom puts a WHIP on you with a switch? WHIP CREAM!

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whats the king of the forest, is the color brown and is red all over? A deer or someone's soon to be dinner.

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A man walks into a bar... OW!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was no traffic for miles and the chicken was in search of basic needs.

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Q.-What's the difference between broccoli and a dead moose? A.-Yes.

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were at work systems r down

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Have you heard the one about the dead guy? Neither has he.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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